Politics

The Czar once sent his tax collectors out to visit his subjects. When they had returned with all the gold they could manage to collect, the Czar asked them, "How are my people?"
"Your majesty, the people are crying, and they’re drinking in despair. They say we took their last."
"This is far from the last!" the Czar declared. "Go again and bring me more!"
This time, the tax collectors took all the silver they could take. "How are my people?" the Czar asked when they brought him this tribute.
"Your majesty, the people are in despair, they’re selling their last shirts, they’re drinking even more heavily. They say we’ve taken all they had."
"I know my people, and I know this is not all!" the Czar declared. "Go again and bring me more!"
When the collectors returned once more, they brought with them mostly copper. They told the Czar, "Your majesty, the people do nothing but drink and have parties like there’s no tomorrow…".
The Czar finally smiled. And he said, "Now I know you’ve brought me everything!"

A politician tells his wife, "You know, dear, I received two votes in yesterday’s election."
"I knew you had a lover!"

"They say the President has a great many supporters."
"That isn’t true. He can still walk by himself."