New Russians

A boy and his family are invited to attend a party at a New Russian’s mansion. The boy is amazed to see a huge TV, which looks as if it’s been cast from solid gold. He takes a deep breath and asks the host, "Excuse me, sir…is this TV made of gold?"
"Yes it is," the New Russian replies casually. "Twenty-four-carat solid gold, to be exact."
"But how do you watch it?" the boy asks, obviously confused.
"It’s not for watching, son. It’s for showing."

One New Russian says to another: "I went to the Bolshoy Theater yesterday; I had so much fun!"
"Watching an opera!? How is that?"
"Our hockey players beat the Canadians in the final game!"
"In a theater?"
"No, I was watching TV in the theater’s snack bar."

Q: What are the three most popular cars among New Russians?
A: Mercedes, BMW, and a hearse.