A restaurant patron tells the waitress, "I’m so hungry, I could eat a dead rat!"
"Then you’ve come to the right place, sir."

"Waiter, there’s a dead cockroach in my coffee!"
"So what do you want now, a funeral?"

"Doctor, I always talk to myself."
"Does it bother your family members?"
"No, I live alone."
"Then why does it bother you?
"I’m so boring, doctor…".

"Can you make my horn sound louder?" a customer asks his mechanic.
"Why would you want to do that?"
"Well, I figured it’ll be cheaper than fixing my brakes."